Monday, June 27, 2011


Why is it that days off seem to go much faster than the work week?  I was out of town for a cousin's wedding this weekend, and I'm so glad I ended up taking today off...I needed to recuperate from my travels!

Weddings have always been something of a double-edged sword for me.  It's fun to get dressed up and let go a bit.  I enjoy seeing my extended family, since they live far away and I don't get to visit with them all that often.  But I always end up somehow feeling like the clock of my life just sped up and I can't slow it down.

I haven't yet decided whether I want to get married or not.  It's not like this is a question on the immediate horizon of my life, but I feel like my ambivalence probably affects my dating life as a whole.  I don't want to get into a relationship without really understanding what I want.  The truth is, I'm not someone who is unhappy being single.  I don't love it 100% of the time, but the amount of time I spend feeling satisfied with my life is somewhere in the 90% range.  I haven't decided whether having someone else will enhance that feeling or not.

That's not to say that I'm opposed to the idea of marriage - I'm just not sure if it's right for me or not.  I suppose the answer to that question may depend on who I meet or date and how I feel about them.  But sometimes I think I hang in dating limbo because I'm afraid I will meet someone I truly care about, and then I'll have to give up my single life, my cherished time to myself, and make room in my routine for someone else.  It seems silly, doesn't it?  Either choice leaves me grieving for the loss of the other...

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